i'll keep this alive.

i promise. i promise.
i need to.

my advance writing course is giving me the chill. "we are going to deal with formal aspects of writing essays" my motherlyfaced course instructor smirked and swallowed the last word. well the motherly part depends on whether she wears professional materials or not! damn that sounded angry, didn't it? not really, i can't forgive her for what she said after masuma's uncle died. forgive was perhaps a harsh word. but i can love Mks for the rest of her(haha)- inconsiderate or not, she is very much fond of us, and i guess like other "good" teachers she wants us to give our best. my best, this time, is threatened, inn't? i mean what is "formal" writing? why do we have to "school" the writing? why can't everything have freedom- like the word "spatial" she used for "descriptive essays" ... "you need a thesis statement for your essay"... yes yes i have heard that before. but the buster gave a B+ because i insisted on sticking to narrative form even though the final paper needed a little "organised" shit here and there.
"oh you gave a wonderful exam. you got the highest in the final! i think you made it to an A-"... no i didn't, liar with a grandpa smile.

it's funny how we use the notsoright words in front of Mks. we repeated in turn- the word "pee" and i explained the process "urination". now she knows where the disjointed fragments come from... we are all retards. she should be happy we are a little "creative" that way... but do we need to create this time?

if only i could answer all my questions...