this is what i think

i'll go back to my codes.

hazel and kishor needed sortingthings out. i was one of their inner voices, offered beef shwarma and pepsi and my counterpart who sat opposite to me and he was offered the same food and drink. we sat and delieved our "views" at intervals. it was important for hazel and her kishor. we were important.

i was hoping for the worst, but as the clouds greyed outside; their storm ceased inside. we made fun of crappy music that was being played-- a war clarion after the peace treaty. ironic.

we took a bus and my ass brushed against a lot of people. traumatic; i don't want to recall the gettingoutofthebus.

brown needs to sort things out too. but he is more in deeper water--as he would say, "at the bottom of the ocean." but his heart worries me, i don't think he allows himself to see. he can't rely on a half-real person's words... i hope he starts to realise that.

dear coleridge,

i had no intention to humiliate you. but i think, once or twice, you felt humiliated. i regret doing whatever i did.

esha.

i observed that this season is the season of complete pandemonium. and the people creating it are mostly women; that makes me sad and think... should i re-evaluate my ideas; need i think over this at all?

well at least zephyr is happy. so very happy. so is hazel- but she flares up. rocket is calm for the moment- but she flares up, she flared up at coleridge too when she thought he was being rude to me.

[i worry about rocket. her nest is empty now, finally. she feared this would happen years back. i worry about iron-arms because he doesn't know that he too can have emotions. i wish they find their peace some time soon.]

the sassy women on the other hand are out hunting and baiting.

the drunkards are done moping and now they're all philosophic-- bastards.

the religion-shunners are done blaming God and making excuses. and for the revival of things, they have changed into being loud and detestable.

the hypocrites are thawing.

the recluses are planning and have stopped planning and building up opinions.

the intellectuals have started to talk about stagnance wrapped with sheets of a dying humanity(that was always there i guess).

--

anger brings out the worst; we all know. it does melt the molds of illusion that other people create for the angry.

sometimes it's a good way to realise other people's qualities. i envy patient people. but i am more scared of the extremely angry. i don't want to turn into one.